Submerged - #11

{Submerged}

I think we have all felt like this at some point in our lives.  Completely overburdened, swamped, like we are drowning and can't keep our head above water!   So grateful it isn't a constant feeling but comes in waves or seasons...  Sometimes when we are in the midst of being dunked under by the pressures of life and schedules... Is to remind ourselves that we always come up for air...  For as long as I can remember - November has been my month of {submersion}.  It's filled with hectic extra mural regime, exams, end of year concerts, carols and off the chart schedules!  It's sometimes feels like everything is jammed in as the year is running out!  This is my reminder to myself as November approaches - to remember to come up for air!

Shadows - #10

~ {Shadows} ~

I love this prompt and I wanted to find the right #selfportrait to capture the feelings I have around it. I have worked with this image for 2 weeks! I hope it does this prompt justice.  To me the {shadows} are kind of mysterious and maybe even a little eerie... filled with a little secrecy!  Maybe the rebel in me likes that a bit... but generally...

I am not a huge fan of secrecy because {truth - #06} is so important to me.

But I think if we were truly honest with ourselves... we all have our {shadows} that we hide behind.

Where our secret dreams, thoughts and desires, even fears lurk

in the {shadows} of our minds, eyes and heart.

Sometimes it isn't that we are purposefully trying to hide them there

as much as protect them... because timing is everything!

I know for myself, when I find the courage, I shed bits of light on them and when it's safe,

they come out of the {shadows} to be exposed, examined and entertained!

But completely on my terms!

I can't reveal them at the wrong time, in case they get trampled on!

Like my dreams and delicate ideas and new projects that I'm too afraid to share out loud.

It can be such a private journey!  And it's our journey!

And truth be told - sometimes I think some things need to stay in the {shadows}.

Purely because that's where they belong, not because they are malevolent but simply because...

They are just private!

Acceptance - #09

~ {Acceptance} ~

For exactly what it is!

Exactly what my life is, what it's about and where I find myself, right now.

Exactly what I am and who I am.

No pretending.  No masks.  No hiding.
Even if it's completely and privately, just to myself.

Exactly what that really looks like...

and

{Accepting} it.

It's in {accepting} that there are many things that we can change.

And then there are those things that are just the way they are, because they are what they are! And no amount of lamenting or looking back is ever going to change that!

There is something resonating and peaceful in {acceptance}.

It's a real coming to terms with truth, perhaps even the ugly truth and settling with it.

Deep inside.

The truth and exactly what that looks like.

And being totally OK with it.

Overwhelmed - #08

I'm getting into a regular routine of getting my SelfPortrait done on a Sunday and I found this week I was thinking ahead and planning it beforehand!  Which was rather exciting for me.I actually planned to do {water} this week but with it being so cold and me a bit sick I opted against it.  But even so... I still managed to get a picture for exactly how I was feeling today...

~ {overwhelmed} ~

We are house hunting.  Change is never comfortable and right now I'm seriously uncomfortable!  We have been living in limbo for 6 years.  There is something in all of us that is just so desperate to settle and set up house or is it put down roots!  But with that, right now because of where we are at - takes planning.  Seriously so!  The girls have about 6 years left of school (you know, like those 6 limbo years that have just flashed by).  And for the first time as we are slowly etching towards 50, we are asking "what are we planning for and what is our future once the girls are out of school"....  

Which leads me right down the path to {overwhelmed}.

I want to make the right decisions for the now and that have a lasting result on that future.  What these past 6 years have showed me, that when we make one decision...

It can sometimes take 6 years to unravel them.  What I do love about this picture is I'm kind of hiding behind the big dark glasses...  but also they have the reflection of the horizon on them.  Almost like what is next on our horizon and future!
Trying to look ahead...

But I'm finding it tricksy to move from small picture to big picture!  I want to cover all my bases this time.  Its causing us to ask some big questions about what we want going forward.

hmmm a tad bit {overwhelming}, I'd say!

Delicate - #07

I love this word {delicate} - it just feels and sounds beautiful.

It reminds me of lace and all things feminine.

It's soft and kind and feels a little sacred.

We have permission to be {delicate} and soft... As woman.  As Mothers!

I love that {delicate} doesn't mean fragile or weak!

I looked up what this word actually means...

{very fine in texture or structure; of intricate workmanship and quality}

Wow, I love that... an intricate workmanship and quality.

I wish we could walk in the knowledge and assurance that this is who we are.

Who we were called and made to be...

A woman of intricate workmanship and quality! 

I want to be a {delicate} woman.

Truth - #06

This is one of my own prompts {truth}

This word and picture means a lot to me.

{Truth} because it's a value and a need in my life.

And this picture because I seldom get good pictures of myself.

I find it hard to be in pictures especially self-portraits.

Its something Misty always challenges us on and often pushes us to do more of.

It's not something I'm naturally comfortable with.

But this one worked!  And I had such fun layering up!

Of all the words I could use for this pic... I stumbled upon {truth}

and I knew it was right for this picture!  Maybe it's the look on my face!

Also right for this project, right for a self-portrait prompt.
I love the words all over my face... {truth} in our words!
In our actions and in our minds and especially our hearts!

It's something that I am desperate for in my life and it's something I value so highly!

I try and live by it... I'm not sure I get it right completely - but I sure would like to...

And it's a value I really want to mirror to my girls and it's something I would love to see in them.

But as much as I am calling for {truth] in my life - I'm calling myself to it too..

About who and what I am and what I truly believe...

That's tough to admit out loud because with it comes judgement.

But maybe I'm finally ready to deal with it!!

Quiet - #05

I'm not sure if it has something to do with my age... or this stage that I'm in but I'm constantly seeking the... {quiet}.  It's like my soul is craving it!  And I have to be honest - I claim it!  I usually wake up before the rest of the house and make myself a Soya Latte.  And head to my fav spots to write my morning pages.  I have 3 fav spots...  At my studio desk, on my new cute lounge chairs or at the dining table!  But to me its not necessarily always about where I sit but that I sit.  That I have the {quiet} before life happens.  It's my time to write. speak. think. listen.  And above everything else be honest!  Corks captured this pic of me and I guess it really does capture the essences of me and a incredible gift of this habit I've got into through the years.  I hope I will always have this time!  These beautiful precious {quiet} moments in time!