Saturday, 31 May 2014

#Dramatic - #19

"While many of the blocks to creativity are internal, one of the largest and most common blocks is not.  This external block is a destructive alliance that many creative people make with the type of personality that we call a "crazy-maker".  What is a "crazy-maker"?  Well the name tells all... a "crazy-maker" is someone who makes you crazy by constantly stirring up storms.  "Crazy-makers" are frequently charismatic, charming and likable people but for the creatives around them they can be poison.  Long on problems, short on solutions, "crazy-makers" drain your creative energy.  They always have a reason why something can't be done... "it's too late, it's not my job, they said they couldn't, let me finish this first or I forgot".  "Crazy-makers" make you feel {dramatic}.  You veer between wanting to kill them and wanting to kill yourself.  There is no right way to deal with a "crazy-maker" because the situation keeps changing.  "Crazy-makers" thrive on drama.  Everything is an emergency, a deadline, a matter of life and death or something they will get to eventually.  No doubt about it, for the creative wanting to stay blocked, linking forces with a "crazy-maker" is the ideal way to do it.  "Crazy-Makers" break deals and destroy schedules.  Their emergency always takes precedence.  "Crazy-Makers" expect special treatment, they suffer a wild and colorful variety of aliments.  "Crazy-Makers" discount your reality.  Your pressing agenda, however real is never ever as important as their own.  "Crazy-Makers" triangulate those they deal with always relaying what so-and-so said about us.  They are expert at gossip.  "Crazy-Makers" are also expert blamers.  Everything is always their problem but never their fault.  "Crazy-Makers" hate schedules, except their own.  It doesn't matter that everybody else has known about the deadline for weeks.  "Crazy-Makers" hate order, papers blanket their office and yours, if they can manage it.  "Crazy-Makers" deny that they are "crazy-makers".

The craziest thing about "crazy-makers" is that we are crazy enough to get involved with one.  If the thumbnail sketches above sounds familiar, admit that you have found a clever way to sabotage yourself.  Julia Cameron The Artists Way at Work - Riding the Dragon.

Wow - that's hardcore.
This post for me is dual reminder...

I don't think I'm a very dramatic person, I think on the most part I pretty even-keeled but this is a constant reminder not to be a {drama} queen, ever.  But more so for me to is how recognize and steer clear of the "crazy-making" people I seem to attract.  Almost 3 years ago, I made a conscious decision to eliminate this element in my life - just to keep the drama and {dramatic} situations on the down-low.  And I have to say I'm having a much more peaceful life.

Not sure why it took me so long to recognize the cycles and patterns but now when I see {drama} coming, I virtually run a mile.  I want to involve myself in things that really matter and really make sense.  And not let the {drama} clutter my soul!  My greatest aim now - is to help my girls not go down the route of being {drama} queens or "crazy-makers" and help them recognize crazy-makers and how to actively choose against it, at all costs!

Tuesday, 13 May 2014

#Abandon - #18

This title is supposed to be "Wild {Abandon}"
But I don't think I can use that - because I don't think there is anything wild about me.  And {abandon}ment especially wild {abandon}ment is not easy for me.  I wish I was more free to express myself with wild {abandon}.  I'm not sure exactly when control became so part of my dna or character.  Maybe I will never have the answers.  Every now and again - my girls help me loose my inhibitions and {abandon} my control to be free... free to dance, free to sing with them, free to be a goof ball and to laugh a lot, especial at myself.

I find each time I do - it loosens something inside of me.  Deep inside.  And the best part of it - is what it releases in them.  Sometimes to me that's the most beautiful gift of all.  I'm hoping as a learn to trust the {abandonment} and what comes out of it, that a greater level of {abandonment} will come through my creativity and my art... As I learn to let go... of the control,  the perfectionism and learn to let go of the fear!

To rest in the knowledge that there is a deeper beauty in the freedom of {abandonment}and there is a deeper beauty in the outcome too!

Mystery is at the heart of creativity.   That, and surprise! - Julia Cameron

Perfectionism isn't a quest for the best.
It is a pursuit for the worst in ourselves,
the part that tells us that nothing we will ever do will be good enough."
- Julia Cameron